• Vickie Sargent-Kler

Even Pastors Wives Get Depressed

How about You?

I have a confession; even Pastors wives get depressed. Well, at least this Pastor’s wife does.

I was all set to have a great New Year; I had a plan for more writing, more exercise, and less weight gain, and then wham! My world came to an abrupt crash. New Year’s Day started out just like always; breakfast in my favorite chair, blanket on my lap and the Rose parade on the TV. My mother and I have watched the parade together for as long as I can remember and this was not going to be any different, or so I thought. Mom was in her place on the couch when she said “I’m cold and I feel crummy, I’m going to my room to watch the parade.” That wasn’t so bad, I would miss her company; it was what came later that rocked my day.


Although I made pleas for her let me take her to the hospital, it wasn’t until late afternoon when we had to call for an ambulance that she accepted the truth that she was very sick. She was diagnosed with pneumonia that went straight into her bloodstream. I never saw anyone get so sick so fast. My mother is a young 89, who helps me with cleaning, cooking and washing clothes, so seeing her lying in that hospital bed was the first time I actually saw her looking her age. I was frightened. Flash forward after 7 days in the hospital I was able to bring her home. Now it has been a very long two months of trying to help her recover, taking over all the household duties, keeping up with two teenagers and helping an active Pastor,


I feel Drained.


If all of that was not enough to make me depressed, my best friend dropped the bomb shell that she was leaving her husband and moving back to her home town a 1000 miles away. It wasn’t sudden, but it was heart breaking news. I don’t condone divorce, I feel marriage is a life sentence, whether it feels like a jail or freedom, depends on the two involved, but in her case I think the Lord understands her choice. I know that as a good friend I needed to be supportive, and I was, when I was with her, but when I was alone, all I wanted was for her to stay.


I feel Lonely.


The final blow to my happiness factor, is my dog Pebbles; she is 19 years old I have had her since she was 8 weeks. I bet you already figured it out, she is trying to die on me. Right now, she is on a hunger strike; no matter what I offer her, no matter how hard I try to force her to eat, she won’t. I am sure it is just a matter of time,


I feel Discouraged.


I know these things are not life threatening to me, my mom is getting better slowly. Even if she doesn’t get back to her energetic self, she is here with me and that is a good thing. My friend and I can call each other and there is Facebook to keep us in touch. Plus she is not the first best friend I have had to separate from, and hopefully not the last best friend I will ever have either. My sweet Pebbles, has been a great pet and companion all these years, and I knew when I got her that pets have short lives. All of this head knowledge about these situations gives me no consolation.


I am DEPRESSED anyway.


Perhaps you are feeling a little like me or maybe you are feeling a lot like me, many of us are depressed. In fact even people who we think would have it together and should have tons of faith in God’s sovereignty over their lives gets depressed. So I guess that puts us in good company! Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 tells us there is a season for everything including weeping. The important thing we need to accept is that all the things that worry, tire us out, and make us sad are just for a season. We can count on this because the Bible is the true and factual word of God. But it is up to each of us how long that season lasts. Each situation we go through is used for moving us closer to our Father in heaven and to help us to be more like Jesus. Genesis 50:20 reminds us that what the world would use for evil in our lives, God will use for good.


So we can sit down and wallow in our misery or we can turn to God to improve our situation, and if not fix the broken pieces, give us the strength to handle them.


How can we do that when we are so deeply stuck in the pain of our circumstances? Psalm 34 is a great instruction guide on how to do this. Verse 1 tells us to “Bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” It is pretty hard to sing praises while you are crying. It’s harder still to complain and whine when you are speaking about all the good things God has blessed you with. Verse 4 said “I sought the LORD, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.” The truth about all my situations are, they are about fear. The fear about my mother dying and losing her love and presence in my life. The fear, that I will not be able to take care of my family without my mother’s help. The fear, that when my friend moves, I won’t have anyone that thinks I am as special as I think she is. The fear, that when my pet dies, I won’t have her undeserved love and adoration.


What fears are making you depressed today?


God has an answer to all of our fears, in verse 6 it said “This poor man (me/you) cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles.” We are reminded in verse 18 that “the LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” So if we call on the LORD we can count on Him coming to our aid and He will take away the fear.

I told you earlier I had a confession, Pastors wives get depressed, and that is a very important detail, it is not just the weak in faith that get depressed, just in case you think that is why you are depressed. Verse 19 lets us know that “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.” If you believe that Jesus loved you so much that He would die on the cross for your sins you can count yourself in the company of the righteous; and call on Him to slay your fears.


Not all the things that have driven you and I to cry out to God will end the way we would like them to. I will get better at juggling the house hold chores, my friend will be heading home in two days, my pup will pass away, my mother will get better, or not. But I have the knowledge that all of this is just for a season, and in the great eternity to come I have the promise from Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the order of things has passed away.”


Join me today to sing God's praises, believe in the good things that God will make from the evil the world hurls at us, and feel the clouds of pain drift away.

I am hopeful!

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